Finishing up The Happiness Effect, my latest book, and I thought I would share a chapter that could help you clean out old unwanted issues in your life. I hope you enjoy it. PLEASE leave some comments let me know what you think. How do you maintain happiness everyday? What are your gratitude rituals? Jump in and start a conversation ✌️💚😁🙏
“That’s the nice thing about being human. We only have one life, but we can choose what kind of story it’s going to be.”. Rick Riordan
Rewriting your story
Another great secret to a positive happy life, is to clear out negative feelings from your past. All of those stories contain the emotions that you felt at the time. Your brain has stored every emotion you have ever had. All the stories from your past, both the good and the not so good, have been recorded in your subconscious mind, and all of those emotions are still directing your life today. Are you being guided by past negativity that continues to play out in the present, and will steer your future as well? Or, is your past emotional library filled with happiness, gratitude, learning, growing and abundance? Your past emotions are sometimes buried beneath a lot of garbage. You will have to throw out some of the garbage you’ve allowed yourself to believe if you want to rewrite your history in positivity. You probably don’t view your life story as all roses and unicorns, so in order to be absolutely filled with consistent happiness, you have to find the good in ALL past experiences. We’ve all had days, or even years where things were tough. Maybe you lost a job, or your house. Maybe you feel a family member did you wrong and you can’t forgive them. Maybe you have had a loved one pass away. These can all be devastating to our present lives. The fact that we have all lived through tough times should comfort you knowing that you are not alone. Every human being has been hit by tough times, and most of us get through it just fine. Those that know that life has to change for the better, and plan their recovery, will get through the challenges with ease. The most successful people will accept the setback, and then plan their comeback. You can overcome any negative feelings that you have ever had, and if you want to be consistently happy you must learn how to do this.
Only you have the power to rewrite your story the way you want it to be told. That’s very exciting and should have you jumping up and down doing a happy dance. You should be floating on air because you know that you are in total control of your life, past, present and future, and you control how you want to perceive it all. I know you can do this because I know you have the confidence to overcome all negativity because today… you are here reading this book, and things are about to get a lot better for your life!
The simple truth is that you must find the good out of every experience in your past. You need to look back through your life and replay every single memory with a happy ending. For example; your parents left you when you were eight years old, sending you to foster care. This devastated you, it has made you feel unloved your whole life, and you are still blaming every challenge you face on that experience. Now when you replay your life you realize that because of this perceived misfortune, you met your best friend in foster care, and you both are still best friends today. Certainly losing our parents at a young age would be devastating. Many people would see that as an excuse for giving up, or accepting mediocrity. However when you focus on what was the happy ending, and realize that the adversity made you stronger, and allowed you to find your best friend, the whole experience changes into a positive life adventure. In this example you found your life long friend because of the loss you experienced. If you shift your perception of events this becomes a very lucky event that changed your life for the best.
Another example could be that a girl or guy broke your heart in ninth grade. So now you don’t get close to anyone, and this makes you feel very lonely. Now as you reverse the loss into a found, you realize that if you didn’t break up with that partner, you wouldn’t have gone to college where you met your business partner, and now you’re both worth millions.
You really need to look back and see every moment of your life as having a positive outcome. Sometimes these memories have been buried for years, and we don’t want to bring them to the surface. They are scary, they may make you face fears you don’t even know you have. But in order to re-imagine your life, and create the happiness effect that will last, you will need to be fearless, face past perceived negative experiences, and replay them in a positive way until you can actually feel joy when you think about them. The only way to reach a completely happy and balanced life is to view your life as lucky, happy, positive and abundant. Earlier we talked about the fact that we tend to be what we believe, or that we are what we think we are. This is excellent news because after you spend some time rewriting your life history with an only positive twist, you will begin to wonder why you saw some events as horribly negative. Yes, they were challenging, but you have overcome them with determined positivity.
As you rewrite more of your life stories, you will begin to connect the dots that make up your life picture. When you start replaying life as a positive journey, you will see that the perceived negative experiences created a learning environment, allowing you to grow, be a more confident and stronger person. The saying “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” is true. Every single experience, no matter how bad you feel it was, made you a better person.
As you practice more, and really try to experience your past life as a happy, good, growing experience you will begin feeling a sense of joy, optimism and happiness everyday. Because you will begin to expect happiness and growth because that’s how your life has always been. The better you can get at this mental shift, the more consistently happy your life will become. You will be amazed at how you are able to look back at everyday in your past and see how it really was ALL GOOD. If your life has been all good, then you will be confident that your life will always be, all good. As the happiness effect takes hold, you will begin to see more happy experiences and more abundance show up in your life. It is like magic. Your new outlook and positive happy mindset will bring you abundance without any other effort on your part, that is so cool!
Many of you may feel overwhelmed at the thought of changing a family members death into a positive experience. I agree that it sounds daunting. However as you begin shifting to a happiness mindset on a daily basis, you will become more experienced, and comfortable replaying past events in the same way. Like everything in life, it takes a little patience and daily intentional practice.
One good way to begin seeing the positive side of things while increasing your gratitude towards life, is to daily use a “gratitude charm”. You simply need to find a rock, a pin, or some talisman to hold at night before going to bed. I use a polished rock that was in the bucket I grew my first turmeric in. While holding your “gratitude charm” replaying the events of the day, and saying thank you for all the good that happened that day. You can say it out loud, or silently in your mind, whatever makes you “feel” the gratitude more fully. Go back through your entire day and replay each event so that each one ends positively, and say thank you. If during the day you learned something new, even if it was painful, that is a positive for your life. Learning, even when painful forces you to grow. And just like nature we need to be always growing. When you are not growing, or moving forward, you are dying and moving backwards. Be grateful for every experience you recieve, and then move on.
However, you do need to actually feel emotionally grateful for your entire day, adding feelings to your gratitude, cements the experience in your mind. And if you remember, your subconscious mind will have to believe what you consciously tell it. When you can emotionally feel grateful for every experience, everyday, your abundance and satisfaction with life will explode.
I should also let you know that how you start your day will dictate how your day will go. Instead of waking up with negative news, email, or doubt and worry, wake up with gratitude. If three minutes of negative news can ruin your day. Just imagine what five minutes of being thankful can do for your day. When you wake up, take a few minutes and just say thank you for whatever comes to mind. Setting your day up with gratitude will drastically improve how your day is experienced.
For the next thirty days I recommend that you write down at least five things you are thankful for everyday. You can do this anytime during the day, when something you see brings a happiness or grateful feeling, write it down. After thirty days you will be blown away at how much abundance there already is, all around you. Start and end your days with gratitude. The more you are able to do this, the faster your life will become consistently happy, as I’ve said a few times… It’s like magic.
As you begin to see how much you have to be grateful for everyday, it will make rewriting your life’s history easier. When a challenge hits you in the present day, and then you replay that event in a positive way that evening, you will begin to see new ways of viewing your past in a positive light as well. Practice makes perfect, but you should not force it. Try to make it a fun experience just seeing good in things. Learn to laugh at yourself, life and the driver who just cut you off.
Spend some time practicing rewriting your past and see what happens. Once you start changing your history to a positive, grateful one, it will begin forcing your future to be more of the same. If your life has always been about positivity, you can expect your future will be good as well. Happiness follows happiness, and maybe even better, abundance follows happiness too.